Changing...

Autumn is a time of change, the most obvious of which of course, is the foliage. During the years that I lived in Florida, I grievously missed watching the leaves change color in the fall. In the years since we’ve been in Georgia, I impatiently peer out my window and anxiously await the shorter days, the crisper temperatures, the pungent, spicy aroma of the woods, and the feast for the eyes as the verdant green leaves wave farewell to summer and cloak themselves in the vivid hues of autumn.

The turning of the calendar pages brings with it other seasonal changes—sweaters and jeans replace t-shirts and capris. The fireplace stands waiting for that first chilly evening, ready to cast its warm glow over the living room. I smile in anticipation of that first steaming mug of hot cider or hot chocolate.

Autumn brought another change this year. Every year, I journey to a special place in the north Georgia mountains. It’s a roadside scenic overlook that I visited five years ago with my son while he was undergoing cancer treatment. That day has become such a sweet memory for me, I return to that place every year and celebrate the life of my son, and thank God for the twenty-eight years He loaned Jonathan to us. My husband and I call the day “Sweet November”.

Last year, I was so disappointed when I pulled into that scenic overlook. The fence was broken down in several places, the weeds had taken over, the grass hadn’t seen a mower in months, there was trash strewn everywhere, and graffiti marred the lone bench. It broke my heart to see this special place so neglected. When I got home, I wrote a letter to the state agency whose responsibility it is to oversee the maintenance of the place. I included photos I’d taken, and I explained why this place is so special to me.

This year, as the time was nearing for me to make my annual Sweet November drive to the mountains, trepidation filled me. If the place looked so bad last year, how much worse would it be this year? Would it be closed down altogether? I asked God to prepare my heart in case my worst fears were realized. As I drove around the bend in the road and pulled into the parking area, tears filled my eyes—not because the place was unkempt or closed, but because it was beautiful.

The fence had been repaired and rebuilt, weeds were cut down, the grass was mowed, trash was picked up, and two new benches offered a place to sit and enjoy the mountain view. The golds, scarlets, and oranges dappled the mountainside with a patchwork of color—a tapestry background for the mercydrop God had prepared for me. How sweet to stand there and lift my hands in worship, thanking God for the change that had taken place.

When God came into my life forty-four years ago, He made a change. He cut away the weeds of self-sufficiency, repaired and adjusted the parameters in my life establishing Himself at the focal point. He cleaned away the trash and turned me around to show me the view from the mountaintop. Over the years, changes too numerous to count have come my way. Some of them have been joyous. Others have been painful. Some happened without warning. Others seemed to take forever to manifest. All have helped me grow.

When God comes in and changes a person’s heart, He isn’t finished. God will continue to orchestrate changes in His child’s life, stretching and tuning and molding that person, cutting back the weeds and renewing the beauty. It’s sweet to know that God will never leave me alone, but instead allow changes to reflect His goodness and mercy.

Thanks for letting me share my heart.

Trace It Back To The Source

“Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament…and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy.” John 16:20



I’ve been contemplating a question lately—a question to which, as a Christian, I already know the answer. However, I’m puzzled. Why is it that I sometimes allow my focus to become distracted and before I know it, people and things of this world have usurped the position that rightfully belongs to God?

The question is: What is the source of my joy? God showers us abundantly with things that bring joy—family, our life mate, our children, friends, interests, accomplishments, beauty, serenity—all have the potential to give us a measure of joy. But where the joy itself come from?

It’s impossible to count the things that make us smile, but for a moment, narrow your focus on one or two things. For you, it might be your children, or spending time with an aging parent or grandparent. Perhaps it’s sweet memories, or a day spent with a dear friend, or maybe a goal you set for yourself that you finally reached. Whatever comes to mind, close your eyes and think about the joy that wells within you as you immerse yourself in the gladness. Listen as you recall the laughter. Invite the sweet memory of the kinship or the exquisite attraction to something so beautiful it evokes tears.

Where does that joy come from? Is it really of our own making? Does it depend on circumstances? If circumstances change, does that mean your joy dissolves? Since we are finite creatures, any joy of our own making is equally finite.

As a writer, I’m often caught up in research surrounding my setting or my characters. Digging into the past often uncovers facts or records that dictate I must change my story line. Even though I write fiction, if the story is to be accurate and realistic, I must base it on truth. Otherwise, the foundation is weak and cannot support the weight of the message I’m trying to convey to the reader. If the reader is to take something of eternal value away from the story, I cannot build it on a temporal substructure.

With this mindset, I asked myself the question: What is the SOURCE of my joy? Those things that bring joy and laughter, memories and solace, must have their origin in truth. They are God-given. Whether my joy is found in my spouse or the memories I have of my son, the laughter I share with my sisters, the pure delight I experience with my nieces and nephews, or attaining a mile marker in my life, all of them come from the same source. Without God’s hand on my life, without His blessing, His strength, His protection, His peace, His faithfulness, none of these joyful things would exist. Every one is a priceless gift, given from the One who is the ultimate source of all joy.

If one of these things is taken away, does that mean my joy is extinguished? Grief is a very real emotion. Loss can sometimes knock us breathless. But if my source of peace and joy begins with who I am in Christ, then that is a foundation that will never crumble, regardless of what or who is removed from my life.

Jesus said, “Therefore you now have sorrow; but I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN, and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.” John 16:22

The solidity and permanence of my joy depends upon its source. If that source is the unmovable, unshakable rock of my refuge (Psalm 94:22) then my joy is just as unmovable. Jesus says no earthly thing can take that joy away from me.

Thanks for letting me share my heart.

"What if..."

If you're reading this blog and you're not a writer, you may scratch your head and think I've gone over the edge. Rest assured, this is the way writers think. My husband repeatedly reminds me that my characters "aren't real", but he doesn't realize they are to me. When writers are putting a story together, they step into the skin of their character and try to think like the character thinks.

I love brainstorming with my critique partners. They’ll toss out a story idea and I’ll grab it and run with it and play the “what if” game. It’s such fun to take someone else’s idea and throw in some twists and turns, and think of ways to complicate the lives of the characters. For some reason, however, I’ve always had a hard time brainstorming my own ideas. So it was with a bit of consternation that I had a “conversation” yesterday with one of my own characters. I’m wrapping up the final chapter of this book, and suddenly my main character, Everett, decides to offer some “what if” suggestions.

Everett: Hey, what if you gave me a reason to leave Willow Creek?

Me: That’s not included in my chapter x chapter synopsis.

Everett: But what if there was a distinct possibility that I might leave? How do you think that would affect Tillie?

Me: I don’t know, Everett. Now get back on the page where you belong.

Everett: I know I tried to make Tillie see how she’d be better off with Ben, but it’s a lot tougher than I thought it would be, watching the two of them together.

Me: Well, you knew it wasn’t going to be easy. This was your decision.

Everett: But if I had a reason to leave, I wouldn’t have to watch them fall in love with each other.

Me: That’s not included in my chapter x chapter synopsis.

Everett: Well, how would you feel if someone you loved fell in love with someone else? Wouldn’t that make you want to run away?

Me: That’s not included in my chapter x chapter synopsis.

Everett: You know I never planned to stay in Willow Creek anyway. What if there was a way I could return to Baltimore?

Me: Everett!! You’re not listening. The chapter x chapter synopsis I sent to my editor does not include you leaving Willow Creek.

Everett: But what are you going to do about this letter?

Me: What letter?

Everett: The letter I received from Grandfather’s attorney.

Me: Huh?

Everett: This job offer in Baltimore is pretty tempting.

Me: What are you talking about? What job offer?

Everett: Great opportunity, great pay, and I could sit behind closed doors and nobody would ever stare at me again.

Me: Everett, I don’t like the sound of this. Do you realize what you’re suggesting? I’m almost finished with this story. In order to include this letter you’re talking about, I’d have to go back to earlier chapters and weave in this new thread.

Everett: So why are you just sitting there? Get busy.

Me: Let me see that letter.

Everett: You have to write the letter.

Me: You know if you were going to make this suggestion, it might have been nice if you’d done so earlier.

Everett: Hey, what do you want from me? (He tosses out his uplifted palms and shrugs) I could take the stage to Dubuque and board the eastbound train there.

Me: Now just wait a minute. I’m the author. You’re supposed to do what I say.

Everett: (tucking the letter into his vest pocket) I’m off to talk to my father about this letter. I need his advice.

Me: And there he goes, and I must hasten after him, for I am the author….I think.


Thanks for letting me share my character, and my heart.

ANTICIPATION... it's making me wait

Anticipation…can be sweet, can be nerve-wracking. In less than a week, I’ll be traveling to the ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) national conference. The excitement has been building for weeks. The prospect of seeing friends we only get to see once a year tickles my innards until I’m virtually dancing with the thought of fellowshipping with hundreds of writers. >>Oh, what a delicious thought! Hundreds of writers all together in one place. People who understand that my characters really do exist, because they talk to their characters too. People who think it’s perfectly natural to cry when my character hurts or experience shortness of breath when my character is in danger. They get it!! YES!!

The ACFW online loop has been posting daily prayers for every aspect of the conference to go smoothly and be God-honoring. We’ve prayed for everything from the sound system and technicians, to the faculty members as they teach, to the staff at the hotel, and the finalists in the contests. There are two more people that I’ve added to my ACFW prayer list: the winners of the first-time contracts.

Every year, one of my favorite parts of the conference is the awarding of a first-time book contract to an unsuspecting author—a writer who has struggled to learn the craft, strived to improve, felt the sting of rejections and has persevered. I love watching the reaction as the person’s name is called. Last year, as the two editors made their way to the platform, I turned to my critique partners with whom I was sitting and said, “I just love it when they do this!”

The next thing I know, the title of my book is being announced and my critique partners are all screaming at me. The flurry of excitement and uncontained joy that followed will always remain one of the high points of my life. My husband said he really hated that he missed it, because it’s the only time in my life I’ve ever been speechless.

So this year, as I’m preparing to go the conference again, I’m wondering for whom God has prepared that contract. Who will feel that jolt of exhilaration and experience the thrill of seeing their persistence and perseverance come to fruition? I’m praying for those two people. They are about to set out on an extraordinary journey, filled with peaks and valleys, fears and doubts, and over the top happiness. When the title of their book is announced and they numbly find their way to the stage in shock, I pray they will relish every heart-pounding moment, every smile, every congratulatory hug, every tear, and every step they take two feet off the ground for the remainder of the conference. I’m praying they will always cherish the moment they receive the contract in the mail and affix their signature to it.

Anticipation…it’s delicious.

Thanks for letting me share my heart.

God's Art Gallery

“I will bless the Lord at all times…” Psalm 34:1
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name.” Psalm 103:1

Mothers do it every day. Her little one comes running up to her, waving a piece of paper on which he or she has drawn a masterpiece. Who cares if the art critics in the most elite galleries consider it childish drivel? To mom, it’s the most brilliant work of art that has ever been produced. What does she do? First, she hugs her child and exclaims over his skill, tells him what an extraordinary job he did, and declares she has never seen anything so beautiful. She then posts this magnificent example of artistic talent on the refrigerator door for the entire family to admire and enjoy.

This is the concept that comes to mind every time I read the verses that exhort God’s children to BLESS the Lord. Psalm 103 is only twenty-two verses, but it instructs us seven times to bless the Lord.

I have to admit, I’ve scratched my head over this more than once. When God blesses us, He does so with omnipotent power and glory. The entire world came into existence with His simple spoken word. He has moved mountains, held back the waters for the Israelites, fed them daily in the desert, stopped the sun in its tracks, and abundantly met every need. Through His immeasurable love, He provided a way for our salvation by sacrificing His only Son. He paid our way to heaven even though we were unworthy. He surrounds us and fills us with His mighty love, protection, comfort, provision, and care.

How are we to reciprocate and bless God? When we bless God, we do so through our love, worship, and praise. But in our frail humanness, our best efforts are paltry. We want to express our gratitude from a heart filled with love and praise for Him, but even when we produce our best masterpiece of praise, I can’t help but wonder how far short it falls in the light of all God has done for us.

It’s like the child who gives mommy the best picture he ever drew. The child doesn’t keep it for himself. He gives it to the person who loves him and cares for him—the one who would do anything for him, the one who would give her life for him. The mother’s heart is blessed to overflowing over something the world considers of no value. The picture shown here was drawn by my son twenty-seven years ago. I wouldn’t take a million dollars for it. It’s priceless, because he gave it to me.

God the Father reacts in much the same way. He loves our efforts to bless Him, and He smiles when we express our love for Him. When His children bring Him their best, His heart celebrates. Instead of keeping His love to ourselves, we proclaim it back to Him in worship.

I wonder if He posts it on the refrigerator door.

Thanks for letting me share my heart.

Overcoming

Sometimes as Christians, we get the idea that everything our world should be well-ordered and smooth, and when circumstances arise that create turmoil, this somehow surprises us. It shouldn’t. The Bible states repeatedly that this world is not our home and the people around us are humanly flawed.

When Jesus was preparing His disciples for the time He would be taken from them, He spoke clearly of the dangers of seeking comfort and peace from things of this world. This preparation is for the purpose of creating a longing within us for heaven as much as it is a warning against putting our trust in things that are temporal.

“These things I have spoken to you that you should not be made to stumble.” John 16:1

“Most assuredly I say to you that you will weep and lament . . . you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy.” John 16:20

“Therefore you now have sorrow, but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice and your joy no one will take from you.” John 16:22

Mark it down: people will disappoint you. People you thought you could trust will let you down. Circumstances will shift. Places you once felt at home will become strange and uncomfortable. Why? Because those people, circumstances, and places are not our source of peace.

Currently there is a situation that is grieving my heart. My spirit has groaned, my heart aches, and I’ve shed more than a few tears. I suppose that in my humanness, I want everything within my comfort zone to remain the same, and when things occur that cause upheaval, I am somehow taken by surprise. But God is never taken by surprise. He isn’t standing up there in heaven wringing His hands and agonizing over what to do. He knows the end from the beginning, which is why He gave us these scriptures. He knows about the hurtful things people will speak and the uncaring attitudes they will display. He knows about the rejection and feelings of betrayal. So He reminds us: your sorrow will be turned into joy.

Do not fool yourself into thinking people or places on this earth make up your comfort zone. Sharpen your awareness of the presence of God in you and your earthly attachments dim. Our joy and peace are in Jesus, and remembering that He is closer than our own breath washes that peace over us again.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer. I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Thanks for letting me share my heart.

God Uses The Strangest Things Sometimes...

We could learn a thing or two from cats. Wait… all you folks who don’t like cats, don’t click the X yet. God really has used my cat to teach me a few things. It’s kind of like when your third grade teacher used visual aids to get your attention so she could impart some small tidbit of wisdom to you.

Sweet Pea came into my life as a tiny kitten—still too young really to be away from her mother. We weren’t sure she’d survive, but the tenacity she demonstrated as a baby formed her personality—er, that is, her CATitude. Her feistiness has mellowed a little bit over the past few years, but she still has her own special way of getting her message across.

1) She wants my undivided attention. When Sweet Pea is sitting with me at the computer and she catches me looking at the screen instead of looking at her, she bats my face with her paw. Makes me wonder sometimes if God would like to bat my face and remind me to pay attention and listen to Him instead of doing things my way.
2) She navigates all the clutter on my desk to get to me. Impressive really, she’s like a tight-rope walker as she threads her way around my laptop, my PC, mouse pads, notebooks, research books, dictionary, external hard drive, Post-It Notes, calendar, coffee cup, picture frames, telephone, tape dispenser, stapler—you name it—to come and sit directly in front of me and stare at me with an air of expectation. She doesn’t let anything get in her way. Then she gives me her undivided attention. Don’t you suppose we should do the same with our cluttered lives and hectic schedules, and find our way through the chaos to sit at Jesus’ feet?
3) She flees from “evil” – in this case, the vacuum cleaner, Jaws. All I have to do is drag Jaws out from his lair. He’s not plugged in yet, he hasn’t roared to life, he’s not even heading in her direction. But the moment she lays eyes on Jaws, she runs for cover, usually into the bedroom closet. I wonder if God wishes we would be so diligent to flee from anything that can damage our testimony, or interfere with our Christian walk, or come between us and Him. God’s word says to abstain from the very appearance of evil.
4) She hides when she needs to be alone. Sweet Pea has several hiding places in the house, most of which I’ve found. But sometimes I’ll check all her favorite places and I can’t find her. She comes out when she’s ready, or when it’s suppertime, whichever comes first. Sometimes the din of the world—the confusion, the busy-ness, out of control emotions, the clamor, the demands, the distractions—closes in on us and we need an escape. How can we hear God’s voice above the cacophony if we don’t take time to separate ourselves from the world, and just be quiet?

5) She knows how to REST. It’s true, cats normally sleep anywhere from 14-18 hours per day. When Sweet Pea wants to nap, anywhere is a good place. She’ll sleep on my desk, on the back of my chair, under a table, buried in a blankie, just wherever and whenever she pleases. Don’t you wish you could learn to TRUST the same way a cat rests? Anywhere, everywhere, anytime, all the time, if we rest on God, we’ll discover a deeper level of trust than we ever believed possible.
6) She’s jealous. Some cats live in a multi-cat or multi-pet family. Not Sweet Pea. She is the Queen and wants no other cats before her. She’s an indoor kitty, so when the neighbor’s cats come calling, she hisses at them through the window screens and scowls at me if I dare to go out and pet them. She wants me to adore her, and only her. When God gave Moses the ten commandments, He said, You shall not have any other gods before Me. There are a multitude of things that we put before God or assign a higher level of importance than God. Whether it’s something that steals our time, attention, money, or priority, it needs to be weighed in the balance with God.
7) She clings to me for protection. When we go to the vet, Sweet Pea rides in a carrier. She usually yowls in the car all the way there. But the moment we arrive and set foot inside the door, she hears the dogs barking and goes into panic mode. Once in the exam room, she wants to climb up on my shoulders and cling to me. She believes that I will protect her from whatever she perceives as danger. God never promised us a life free of adversity, but He did provide His special comfort and sanctuary for His children. When troubles come (and they surely will), cling to God for protection and comfort. Lift us your arms to Him and ask Him to hold you.

Excuse me, I have to go now. Sweet Pea says it’s time for her Yummies.

Thanks for letting me share my heart.